My final project depicts a representation of a common occurrence that would happen to me while growing up. As a pastor, my father often incorporated me into his sermons, using our life experiences as anecdotes where I would often be a trophy or prize that would be gained by the end of the experience. As much as I enjoyed the attention at first, this quickly became rather uncomfortable. I struggled to place what this discomfort was, but later I recognized that part of the feeling was the sense of objectification.  

Through this photographic narrative, I aim to show a story in which I would disassociate from myself, never feeling truly present in those moments. Using techniques such as light painting and print ripping I seek to showcase the disassociation I would feel in those moments. Each image serves to further the narrative of being objectified and used as a narrative device, rather than being recognized as an individual with autonomy.

The featureless light-painted crowd, which is a stand-in for the audience at church, represents the meaninglessness of an actual crowd. The semblance of an audience was all that was required. The visual tearing around the younger model, my brother, is a reflection of me and my value in those settings. In the same way that the individual people in the crowd did not matter, my physical presence in the space only served to heighten the value of what he was speaking about in his sermons. Casting my father and younger brother as the models for this series is significant in the authenticity and personal importance it carries, as well as the fear that this kind of mannerisms will be carried out with my brother as a replacement for me no longer being there. 

My goal with this series is to be vulnerable in the best way I know how. If others find the courage to do the same, then I am grateful for the opportunity to encourage others to do so.